Running a hundred miles an hour...
O God... why am I so impatient? Why am I so angry? Things aren't going right, and I don't know how to give it up. I don't know how to let things go. I feel like I, like the man in my story, am running through darkness with the troubles pressing in around me and clawing at my heart. I can hear the lies and the wicked voice of the Devil behind me. Always there, pursuing me to the end. He is wearing me down, and I don't want to fall. I feel so trapped in this place that consumes all the light in my soul. I can't see You standing beside me, and I don't see Your wings through the treetops, coming to save me. I am lost in here, and You are nowhere around me.It has come up a lot in the past few days... that sometimes God puts your faith to the test by drawing away so you can't feel His presence. I talked about it for a devotion because I feel like I am in that desert, lost in that forest, abandoned in that darkness. Cold and terrified I run. I run because I don't know what else to do. I don't feel like I'm running towards You, Father. Yet I don't think I'm running away. I'm just running because I'm afraid, and I'm alone. God, Father, Lord. I know that I must continue to follow You. To keep praising you when I feel empty. To keep finding that blessing in the dark. You give and take away. I came into this world with nothing, and I will leave with still nothing. God, help me to preservere through this desert, though I am cracked and dry for lack of Your spirit. God please! It's been a long time, and I am a vapor, blown in the wind. Only You can catch me and make me whole again. Jesus carry me! Help me see that it's not the experience, it's not the feeling, it's all about trusting You and loving You no matter what. God... help me.
posted by Robyn at
3:25 PM
0 comment(s):
Post a comment
<< Home